<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Chains by vosijkstan</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935460">Chains</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vosijkstan/pseuds/vosijkstan'>vosijkstan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Relationship(s), and i love kell x holland so here it is, i love suffering okay, pain bc i love pain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:27:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vosijkstan/pseuds/vosijkstan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on the Kell/Holland scene where in A Conjuring of Light when Kell takes off Holland's chains, because Victoria was too cowardly to give us what we wanted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kell Maresh &amp; Holland Vosijk, Kell Maresh/Holland Vosijk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Chains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>for the holland protection squad gc, hope yall enjoy pain &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ship rocked back and forth dangerously as the waves crashed violently against the base of the Ghost. It was a small ship - smaller than Rhy's chambers - with three sails and a narrow hull. Kell Maresh pranced around the ship, unable to sleep. Back at the palace, he was able to get lost in its many hallways and strange rooms filled with family portraits and documents. But on the Ghost, he had nowhere to go.</p><p>So he stood in front of Holland's room. He had no memory of how he got there or what he exactly wanted from Holland.</p><p>The old man Ilo was seated in a chair next to doorway, guarding the door as if he'd be able to stop Holland from fleeing if he wanted to. He looked up at Kell who nodded in silent dismissal. The old man was gone in the blink of an eye, leaving only a small wooden carving on his chair as proof of his presence.</p><p>Kell moved the chair out of his way and stepped into the room. He expected to be greeted by Holland snarling at him to go away, but much to his surprise, Holland was asleep.</p><p>Holland sat with his back pressed against the cabin wall, hunched over so his head was resting on his drawn up knees. His right hand was chained to the wall, the skin beneath red and painful. For anyone else, sleeping in this way would've been torture, but not for Holland - a man used to every sort of violence, a man acquainted with every shade of pain which existed. </p><p>"Holland?" Kell whispered, stepping closer to his bed. The muscles beneath Holland's shirt twitched, but he didn't wake. </p><p>Kell hesitated, like he was worried that if he touched Holland he'd evaporate into thin air. He rested his palm against Holland's shoulder and for a moment time stood still before he jolted awake. </p><p>His whole body tensed as his shoulders hit the cabin wall, his eyes wide and unblinking as if he were preparing for an attack. Within seconds, his expression retreated back into that old one Kell knew so well - the composed, cold look.</p><p>"It's you," Holland breathed, sounding disappointed but he was relieved, "What do you want?"</p><p>"You don't look well." Kell responded and reached out towards Holland. It took all his inner strength not to flinch, because he couldn't remember the last time someone touched him in a tender way apart from Kell putting his hand on his shoulder moments ago. Holland saw Kell taking the key out of his pocket and now his intentions had become clear.</p><p>Kell was going to free him. </p><p>"You realize I could kill you and everyone else on this ship?" Holland asked, as the chains fell away and hit the wooden floor with a thud. He stared at his skin, taking in the feel of freedom. </p><p>But Holland knew he was never going to be free, not really,  he was always going to be trapped as long as his magic ran through his veins, he was going to be haunted by the memories of the past until his last dying breath. Holland was enslaved by his power ever since he was born, his whole existence defined by the word <em>Antari. </em>He wasn't sure who he was without it.</p><p>"I do." Kell nodded slowly.</p><p>"And you still chose to free me? " Holland snarled, unable to say anything nice to Kell, because he was so annoyed by Kell's selflessness, his kindness. He thought Kell was too naive for his own good, Kell always wanted to see people for who they could become, not what they were. It was something Holland couldn't understand.</p><p>Holland couldn't afford to be kind. Not in White London at least.</p><p>"Yes," Kell said quietly, turning his glance towards Holland's bruised hands stained with blood. "Your hands..."</p><p>Before Kell had fully decided, he was already slicing his blade across his wrist, his blood dripping onto Holland's hands. "<em>As Hasari."</em></p><p>
  <em>To heal.</em>
</p><p>His hands turned back to its pale colour, with no trace of the painful swelling or blood that was there moments before. Kell and Holland stared at each other in silence.</p><p>Holland was at a loss for words. What do you say to a man that was so much like you, but nothing like you at all? Kell could never understand what it felt like to be truly alone in this world, what it felt like to be a prisoner of your own mind but he wanted him to. Holland knew Kell was the only person in this world who could ever come close to understanding. He just wanted to tell him how much his kindness meant to him in this ruthless world. </p><p>"Why?" Holland muttered, it was all he had managed to say. </p><p>"You don't need to suffer anymore." Kell said, before he got up and started heading towards the door.</p><p>"Thank you, Kell." Holland responded, as Kell was one foot out the door.</p><p>For the first time, Holland had wanted for him to stay.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>